Alternate Plans
Bible Order: Deut 31:30–34:12
Chronological Order: Num 26–28
Love and Self Denial
Divorce was a tricky issue back in Jesus’ day and it isn’t any less so today. In Deuteronomy Moses writes the following:
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 ESV
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the LORD. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the LORD your God is giving you for an inheritance.”
From this one mention of a “certificate of divorce” the Jewish people devised a system by which a man could divorce a woman for any excuse he could imagine. This is a rather callous attitude toward marriage and not what God intended. The Pharisees, perhaps in one of their many attempts to trip Jesus up, asked Him if it was Lawful to divorce ones wife. When a Pharisee asks if something is Lawful he means does it meet the letter of the Mosaic Law as laid down by Moses. You see, they didn’t care about the spirit of the Law, only the letter. Here is how Jesus answered them:
Mark 10:5-9 ESV
“And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
A man and woman joined in Holy matrimony become one flesh before God. Can you imagine the pain if part of your body was torn from the rest? Without immediate medical attention you would die. People who have survived an amputation tell of phantom aches and pains in the limb that no longer exits. Such an amputation changes the amputee forever and the associated hurt and pain and sense of loss never truly goes away. In the heat of arguments and anger, divorce can come to be viewed as a less painful alternative to remaining married but it is a lie. Husbands and wives will also often tell themselves that they should divorce “for the sake of the children”. This argument is based on the idea that seeing mommy and daddy argue and yell at each other non-stop causes more harm than divorce. This argument has been around for a long time and the research is conclusive. This too is a lie. Divorce hurts and it hurts everyone forever.
Our society today encourages so much behavior that inflicts a vast amount of incredible pain. People who have divorced have tried to make a decision that they thought was best, unfortunately they have been more influenced by the world than the spirit of the Bible. That spirit is one of love and self-sacrifice. You shouldn’t have to choose between divorce and your children hearing parents argue all the time. You are an adult and those children depend on you to act like it.
Most of our arguments and anger arise from our self-centeredness. We don’t like it when people are disrespectful to us, or don’t do things the way we want them to, or wrong us in some way. All of that comes from a focus on self. What would happen if you denied yourself and focused on doing your very best for your spouse? What if you wanted to do things her way rather than storm around and get into arguments because she doesn’t do them your way? Granted there are times when our spouse’s way of doing things might be dangerous or immoral and in those situations we are honor bound to step up and confront, in a loving way, the issue. What would happen when your spouse did or said something disrespectful to you if you ignored it? What if instead of being angry you showed them how much you respected them?
You are the spiritual head of your home. That means that it is up to you to take the first steps in changing the dynamic in your home. It isn’t about you; it is about the glory of God. How does how you treat your wife reflect the glory of God? You can’t control what other people say and do. You can control how you respond to them. You are the leader. It is up to you to deny yourself and put others first. Others are not here to serve you and you’ve got to get that into your head. Love and self-denial are crucial disciplines to master if you are going to be the man God created you to be. Get to work.
Have a blessed day!
Your brother and servant in Christ,
Bill
Dying to self, living to serve!
Alternate Plans
Bible Order: Num 1–2
Chronological Order: Exod 32–34
The Value Of A Wife
Well, here we are brothers, the beginning of the end; or is it the beginning of the beginning? While today’s reading is short it actually covers two days. We see the chief priests plot to kill Jesus, we see Judas make his filthy deal with them, and finally we see Jesus calling out His betrayer. In the midst of this is the story of the woman with the alabaster flask who poured expensive ointment upon Jesus’ head. Something finally jumped out at me as I read this story for the umpteenth time.
Matthew 26:6 ESV
“Now when Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper”
Did you ever stop to think about the fact that Jesus was staying at the home of a leper? Lepers were outcasts; fear of contagion kept everyone far from a leper. Jesus clearly healed this leper at an earlier date as none could have dined with him safely otherwise. This is a great picture of what salvation means. Sin is contagious and it eats away at those who are infected. Such an infection keeps us separated from God but He has provided a cure and once accepted the patient is healed and able to sit in God’s presence in fellowship with Him.
There seems to be much confusion about this instance, for Jesus seems to have been anointed by women three separate times. I believe my favorite commentator, J. Vernon McGee, gets it wrong when he equates the anointing in today’s reading with one described in John 12. If you read both passages carefully you will see that these anointings actually occurred a few days apart and by different women although the woman in today’s passage is unnamed.
You will remember that Jesus never had His body anointed after His crucifixion; the women that came to do so found Him already risen. The three anointings performed by these women in His final days of life accomplished the task beforehand. Jesus had been telling His followers for some time now that He would be crucified. The male disciples seemed to hear Him but not understand. The women, in anointing Him, appear to have been more spiritually in tune with what He was saying; they were preparing Him for what was to come.
The Bible tells us that the men are to be the spiritual head of the home but far too many of us wear that responsibility rather badly. Some men believe they must determine the direction of the family based on their own spiritual awareness and then insist that the rest of the family follow their lead. This is foolish. Our spouses are our partners and a gift from God. If we are honest we all have seen from time to time how our mothers or sisters or wives have had a spiritual insight that others had missed. Perhaps this is what is sometimes called “women’s intuition”. Whatever you call it you cannot deny that it exists.
The distinguishing characteristic of the spiritual head of the house is not infallible spiritual insight but self-sacrifice. This isn’t to say that a man should do whatever his wife might demand, but that his approach to leading his home should be that of putting the wellbeing of everyone in his home above his own. To do this a man must listen to the members of his household. He must seriously consider the counsel of his wife. He must seek the wellbeing of all by determining what is right. A man cannot determine what is right by putting his own desires first and ignoring the wisdom and insight of his wife; she is his partner and counselor and should be valued as such.
I truly believe a man is incomplete without a wife and a women incomplete without a husband. It is rather sad that many women will be upset by this notion but encouraging that few men would. Perhaps someday men and women will be able to appreciate the wonderful, God given value of the opposite sex and the ridiculous notion that one is somehow better than the other can finally be put away. We should not rail against the differences of man and woman but rather celebrate those differences for when man and woman are united in holy matrimony and fulfill their roles self-sacrificially they are truly more than the sum of their parts.
I’m reminded as I think on this that turmoil in marriage is not how God designed it but is actually a result of the fall in the Garden of Eden. Upon disobeying God, all of creation fell, mankind fell, and marriage fell with it. In sending Adam and Eve out of the Garden God said to Eve in part:
Genesis 3:16
“…Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”
Do you hear the conflict built into this verse of Scripture? From that point on the desire of a wife would be to be in control of her husband and the desire of a husband would be to rule over his wife. The power struggle began then and has never ended. Now you may say to me that this means there will never be peace in a marriage. Some may even wish to blame their wife for the conflict in their marriage. The truth is that when each of us puts our life under the authority of Christ we are able to live as God intended. To do this we must deny ourselves and follow Him. If both a husband and wife will do this there will indeed be peace in a marriage.
What if a husband does deny himself but a wife does not? Brothers, you cannot control what others do or don’t do. God has given you responsibility for your own conduct and no one else’s. What others do or don’t do should have no bearing upon your behavior. Just the thought “But my wife…” shows that you are not denying yourself. You should care about your wife’s spiritual growth and do all in your power to promote that growth, but she cannot be used as an excuse for your own behavior. Be self-sacrificial in heart, mind, and action and your life will be infinitely better no matter what others do. Cherish your wife as the gift from God she is and consider wisely her counsel.
Have a blessed day!
Your brother and servant in Christ,
Bill
Dying to self, living to serve!
Alternate Plans
Bible Order: Exod 34–36
Chronological Order: Gen 45–47
Divorce
Divorce is a problem in our nation today. It was a problem for the nation of Israel long ago as well. I recently heard a statistic that the divorce rate among self-proclaimed Christians is now higher than among non-Christians. What’s up with that? Divorce poseses a problem for Christians and the words of Christ spoken in today’s reading are some of the hardest concerning divorce in the entire Bible. Again my old friend J. Vernon McGee handles this subject very well so I thought I would share his commentary with you.
“The Pharisees came to tempt or to test Him. They were after Him, trying to put Him in opposition to the Mosaic system. They brought a problem which is just as difficult today as it was then. “Is it lawful for a man to put away [divorce] his wife for every cause?” That is an equally live issue among Christians in our day.
Let me preface this a little by saying that God has given to all of mankind certain things for the welfare of the human family. For instance, He has given marriage for the protection of the home. Marriage is something which God has given to be a blessing to mankind whether saved or unsaved. Another example is that of capital punishment which God gave for the protection of a nation, to protect the lives of its citizens. Also God gave the sabbath law for the protection of the individual, that he might have one day of rest. God gave these laws to protect the individual, the family, and the nation. These were general laws which He gave to all mankind. Later on, He made them specific for His chosen people.
Now let’s look at this question concerning marriage. Here it is in the smaller context of the nation Israel, of course. And we look at it today in the light of the contemporary Christian. “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?”
…The Lord Jesus took them back to the very beginning, back to God’s ideal of marriage. The Mosaic Law had permitted divorce on a broad basis: “When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house” (Deut. 24:1).
As far as the Mosaic Law was concerned, a divorce was not as bad as was marriage to a stranger. For instance, if the priest’s daughter married a stranger, she was shut out from the nation Israel. However, as time went on, the Mosaic Law was made meaningless, and the granting of divorce was done on the flimsiest pretexts, such as burning the bread. As a result, there was a great deal of discussion relative to divorce in our Lord’s day.
…This was God’s original plan for man and woman before sin entered the human family. Divorce was not in God’s original plan. Why? Because sin was not in God’s original plan, and divorce is always a result of sin. Regardless of what you may say, there is sin in the relationship somewhere which causes divorce. So our Lord took them back to the original plan of God.
…You ought to read Deuteronomy 24:1–4 to get the background for their question. Why did Moses permit divorce?
…Why did Moses permit it? Because of the hardness of their hearts. You see, marriage was given to mankind, and it is the tenderest and the sweetest of human relationships. There is nothing like it. And, actually, marriage was to represent the relationship between Christ and the church. Therefore, only believers can set forth this high and holy relationship. However, when they fail, and bitterness and hardness of heart enter in, then that marriage becomes a hollow sham, and it is just a mockery of marriage. My friend, marriage is either made in heaven or in hell—there is no third place to make it. When marriage is made in the wrong place, it is in trouble to begin with. Even Christians find that marriage becomes a very shaky proposition.
Because of the hardness of the human heart, God permitted divorce. God is merciful to us—oh, how merciful! But His ideal is never divorce. I recognize that we are living in a culture which is very lax in this area. There are multitudes of divorced folk who will be reading this book. Let me repeat that the background of divorce is always sin. But, after all, all of us are sinners. Since God can forgive murderers, He can also forgive divorced folk. But we need to recognize that the root cause of divorce is sin.
Now our Lord is going to give something new—
…Adultery breaks the marriage relationship and provides the one ground for divorce. Somebody says to me, “Yes, but here is this poor Christian woman, married to a drunkard!” Or a fine Christian man is married to a godless woman. What about that? Well, believers may separate on other grounds, which seems to be the whole point of 1 Corinthians 7, but divorce is permitted on only one basis, adultery.
Divorce was granted for the purpose of permitting the innocent party to remarry. This rule is applicable only to believers; God is not regulating the lives of unbelievers but is holding them to the message of the cross first. God wants the unbeliever to come to Christ. He is lost whether he is married, divorced, or single. It makes no difference until he accepts Christ. The important thing to note is that for believers He puts down one ground for divorce: adultery.
Now suppose there is a believer whose spouse got a divorce on another ground. What about the innocent party? Well, if there has been adultery there, and in most cases there has been, then the innocent party is permitted to remarry. I believe that is the whole thought in this particular case.”
McGee, J. V. (1997). Thru the Bible commentary (electronic ed.). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.
Have a blessed day!
Your brother and servant in Christ,
Bill
Dying to self, living to serve!
Hope In Christ
Brothers, it is late and if I’m going to make my deadline for posting this to the blog for automatic e-mailing to subscribers I’m going to have to get this done quickly.
Today was an interesting day and it has me in a rather pensive mood. Earlier today I learned that a friend of mine, a man who reads this blog regularly and has been a great encouragement to me, is unemployed. I don’t know if this is a recent thing or has been a struggle for him for a while. I was unemployed myself several years ago for 9 months and I remember how worried I was and how frightening it got a few months into it. I also learned that another friend lost his father today. My dad is still with me so I can only imagine what he must be going through right now.
I ended the day, however, at a wedding for two young members of my church. They are not long out of college and they make a beautiful couple. I was truly happy to see them begin their life together as man and wife. My prayer is that their marriage will be what God intended all marriages to be from the beginning.
I look at the struggles we all face in this life and just when you think you might have to carry more than you can bear God shows you hope. It is hard for me to explain why I found hope in the wedding of these two young people. The wedding was proudly Christ centered and I suppose that is where I found that reassuring hope. Can one find hope in a job? Can one find hope in a marriage? Can one find hope in life itself? I believe the answer to all of these questions is no. The only place one can find hope is in Christ.
With Christ we find hope in every situation. With Christ we can find hope when we have a job and when we don’t. With Christ we can find hope in marriage and we can find hope when single. With Christ we can find hope in life, in illness, and in death. You see the struggles and troubles of life are meaningless when Christ is the center of our lives. Oh that isn’t to say that we shouldn’t feel our pain or bring it before God; He’s our heavenly Father and He wants us to come to him in sorrow and in joy.
As Christians, when we face trouble we know that it is only for a little while and that God will never give us a heavier burden than we can bear. Of course he knows our capacity better than we know ourselves so it may seem that He has given us too much, but He never does. When He is at the center of our lives He gives us peace even when we are in the center of a storm. We can trust Him because we have several thousand years of testimony that He keeps His promises. The record of that testimony is the Bible.
In today’s passages we read of Jesus being crucified. He didn’t have to come to earth to be crucified. He chose to do that. Can you imagine suffering as He did? Jesus came to fulfill many of God’s promises. He came to give us hope. As He went to the cross He knew that He would be raised from the dead three days later. He knew that His Father kept His promises and that after the pain there would be joy.
We also read today that Judas hung himself. He didn’t have hope. He didn’t have Jesus. Pain is part of life. Hope and joy are part of life in Christ. As Christians we get both. We live in a fallen world so we experience pain, but we have God’s Holy Spirit residing within us so we have hope as well.
I don’t know what struggle you may be facing today. Because you live in a fallen world I know you have struggles. It is my hope you also have Jesus Christ, for then you have hope as well. Turn to God in your pain and struggles brothers. Share your hurt and your fear with your Heavenly Father. Remember He walks with you through the fire and that on the other side is joy everlasting.
Have a blessed day!
Your brother and servant in Christ!
Bill
Dying to self, living to serve!
Married To A Prostitute
Hosea 1-7
We are introduced to Hosea today in our chronological reading plan. I’ve mentioned this before but to be more succinct, nearly all of the writing prophets appear during the period of the divided kingdom. When the kings failed God provided prophets. Hosea was a contemporary of Isaiah, Micah, and Amos. Isaiah and Micah preached to the southern kingdom (often referred to as “Judah”) while Hosea and Amos preached to the northern kingdom (often referred to as “Ephraim”). Hosea warned the northern kingdom that they would go into the Assyrian captivity and he lived to see this prophecy come to pass.
God instructed Hosea to take a prostitute as his wife. Don’t miss how crazy this had to sound. A prostitute commits adultery and, under God’s Law, should be stoned to death, yet God told Hosea to violate God’s Law and marry one! Is a prostitute more likely to be faithful or unfaithful? Marrying a prostitute is asking for trouble. Hosea married Gomer and low and behold she is unfaithful to him. Imagine the pain he must have felt.
Why did God instruct Hosea to take such a wife? The children of Israel were unfaithful to God. Over and over again God refers to their behavior as adulterous. He said they were “whoring” after other gods. How would you feel if your wife were known to be unfaithful to you? How would you feel if everyone knew she was prostituting herself to all comers? Hosea knew how that felt and therefore knew how God felt. It was from this place of understanding and pain that Hosea preached to the wayward northern kingdom.
God often uses the symbolism of marriage to describe a proper relationship with Him. In marriage a man and a woman are to become one flesh. They are to cleave to one another – never to be parted. The man is to be the head of the marriage. Put God in place of the husband and you in the place of the wife and you see what our relationship is supposed to be. You are to cleave unto God. You are to be faithful to Him and Him alone. He is the head of this relationship – you are under His authority.
Is your relationship with God a picture of a biblical marriage? Have you joined to Him forsaking all others? Have you submitted to His authority as head of your life? Perhaps your career, income, or any number of worldly things are more important to you than Him. Let me tell you brothers, if anything is more important to you than Him you are committing spiritual adultery – you are whoring after other gods.
When we dropped to our knees and asked for God’s forgiveness for our sins through the shed blood of Jesus Christ we also submitted ourselves to His authority, we took a marriage vow, we said “I do”.
Hosea 2:16-20
“And in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’ For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. And I will make for them a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the creeping things of the ground. And I will abolish the bow, the sword, and war from the land, and I will make you lie down in safety. And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.”
If you haven’t viewed yourself as being in a marriage relationship with God I would like to encourage you to do so. You belong to Him. Never forget it!
Have a blessed day!
Your brother and servant in Christ,
Bill
Dying to self, living to serve!
Marital Bliss
Song of Solomon 1-8
The Song of Solomon is also known as the “Song of Songs” or more completely “The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s”. I’m sure that when first written the reader needed to sit with a bucket of water ready to put out any smoldering fires that this hot marital love song might ignite! Today some of the imagery is lost on us. I suggest you be very careful if you ever try to quote the Song of Solomon to your wife as a gesture of your love. It doesn’t always translate well. The last phrase of chapter 4 verse 1 is a case in point.
Song of Solomon 4:1
“…Your hair is like a flock of goats
leaping down the slopes of Gilead.”
I don’t know about your wife but mine would not respond favorably to that particular “compliment”. Some men might actually get a frying pan upside the head if they made such a statement today. The point here is that God made man and woman to be “one flesh” in marriage. Your marriage is a blessing. Sex is a blessing given to those who unite in holy matrimony. It is not only okay to enjoy sexual relations with your wife it is advisable. More than that, your wife is the only legitimate outlet for your sexual fulfillment. I don’t know what challenges you might face in your marriage but, after your relationship with Christ, there is no other relationship more important. If you don’t have that relationship going well, everything else is going to be out of whack.
Enjoy your wife my friend. Give her the priority in your life that God intends. Don’t view her as an object for your own gratification but as a wonderful gift and blessing from God. Treat her like that and things will go well for you; of that I have no doubt!
Have a blessed day!
Your brother and servant in Christ,
Bill
Dying to self, living to serve!
Mark 10:1–31
